Tarzan Hot

Meandering thoughts:

Conversation with my 3 year old (ahhh ya I know I said I wouldn't talk about my kids, but damn this is kinda interesting & funny)

SJ: "Mom, Levi called me a dick..."
Me: "Well, were you being a dick?"
SJ: "NO"
Me: "do you know what a dick is?"
SJ: "no"
Me: "it's a penis...but when someone calls you a dick it's like saying your being a jerk. so were you being a jerk to Levi?"
SJ: "Well, ya...so I flicked him..."

That's about all the clear info I got. Trying to get accurate information from a 3 year old is like trying to get correct info from a crack head at 2AM at a crime scene involving the crack head. Not that I would know that for sure, being only involved with a 3 year old & not really knowing any full blown crack heads except for the ones I've seen on COPS...but I am guessing I'm damn close.

I live someplace that's really freaking hot. In quoting Mathew Broderwick from Biloxi Blues "it's hot..it's Africa hot. It's Tarzan hot." It sucks from July till Oct. BUT I've lived elsewhere and this is the lesser of all the evils. I won't go into where else I've lived because there have been several I will say "screw you LA..."
One of my favorite things in the summer is watching Deadliest Catch. You know the show about the crab fisherman on the freaking freezing boat somewhere in the Barren Sea...Where ever the hell that is. Okay..so I divert my eyes when they show a bunch of the crabs. The crabs give me the creeps...they resemble the fast crawly things that attach themselves to your face on the Alien movies to much for me to even think of consuming one. I guess they are the Alien babies? Oh and let my digress for a second...I love Sci Fi but what really freaks me out is when things are fast...fast Alien babies and worst of all fast Zombies. I think it was Dawn of the Dead that the zombies where zombies which is fucked up enough, but they were fast zombies. How messed up is that? I know I am writing as if zombies could happen BUT if they did wouldn't you want the super slow dumb as cow shit ones from the original black & white zombie movies?

Okay...so back the fisherman....I love sitting there with a big cup of coffee watching these poor guys freeze their asses off & risk their lives on while it's a 100 and fuck outside my apartment. I find it really comforting to see all the cold cold sea water, ice, and snow. Shit half the time I'm not even listening to whatever the narrator & crew are saying I'm too busy pretending to freeze my ass off in the sea water...occasionally I have dirty thoughts about being the only woman on a fishing boat full of men...I would start looking damn pretty about week 2.

And Lastly: I went to the gym yesterday it's been...Mmmm I don't know 6 years. Cue the voice from The Upside Down show..."She went to the gym for the very first time..." Me walking in happy but dorky like the dudes from the show... Okay...so I hook up with a trainer. Who was nice & professional...but big. A very big dude that didn't say much and well didn't say much. The whole time I was working with him I kept having images of Gazoo from the Flintstones telling him what to do..."now dumb dumb tell her to straighten her back..." I would get so involved in that thought that a couple times I totally lost count of how many reps I did & had to play it off like I knew how many...
So I would stop whatever I was doing with a "yep...did that..." look when I didn't really have a clue if I did 20 reps or 40 or 15.