old morbid people...

This week on the bassets mind...

Old people are either insanely happy granola I don't need this shit type or the morbid obsessed with horrible things type. My mother is the later. I don't know if it's because we are Hispanic & well Hispanic people tend to talk about sickness in secretive whispers....as if tata didn't know his old ass was sick as hell. Or maybe speaking about the illness out loud will break the general rule of not telling the really ill child/old person that they are sick as hell. It's better that they not know? BUT back to my mom who daily tells me terrible tales of abused children, deaths caused by crocodiles, people who didn't pay attention to the news and then lost their homes, their jobs, and were clubbed to death by their neighbors....I could casually say the most innocent of comments to my mother about the summer heat she will answer with some story she heard on the radio of a woman who forgot their child in the car & the baby cooked to death..... DAMN MAN a long time ago I stopped watching horror films because I could not take the gruesome terrible things people did to one another...so I stopped watching those. I had no idea that a little Mexican woman could be filled with such horrid tales. She tells me that she tells me these things so that I would know not to do that. WTF? I am not going to cook my baby in the freaking car. I think she should supplement her retirement income by going to work for fangoria magazine..or maybe the bastards that create all those Saw movies. She could tell those fuckers all the terrible shit she hears on the radio, keep her self busy, and have the cash to take me out to lunch more often.

I should really go over one day and pay close attention to this radio show she listens to....I swear it's too meth heads combing over the internet thinking of ways to scare the crap out of old Mexican widow woman while giving these old OMWW something to gossip about in whispered black tones to one another and their children.

On same subject but not...I hate the people who create SAW movies. That's right I hate you. How dare you put that type of vile shit out there. I am not into torture porn. AND I am not into censorship, but fuck man why plant these disgusting ideas into some sick fuckers head that had enough money for a movie ticket. Don't the creators of the SAW movies & movies of that nature get it...you plant the seed to the public then some idiot recreates it. I think there is so much terrible shit in the world must we really teach each other especially our youth even more creative ways to hurt one another. I wonder if we are creating a generation of mean little bastards.

I prefer my horror in the form of zombies, vampires, werewolves...Your basic good time Halloween shit that for the most part isn't true....I say for the most part because there are days when my apartment complex is super quiet that I start to wonder where my neighbors are & why is everything so quiet....Mmmm.

for the record I intend to be the don't need this shit old person. I plan to be an old pot head who scrambles around trying to clean things up including myself before the grandkids come over.

give a little

I don't like the office girl at my apartment complex. I have no reason to dislike her. She's never been rude to me or f'd me over in anyway. I dislike her for the simple reason that she is so straight to the point. She is a very straight piece of wood with no bend. I am not trying to get her to bend any rules or anything for me...but there is little warmth to her. There is no give...no emotion...is there such a thing as being too professional? Because if there is...then yip that's her. She's too stand offish professional for me. I like my privacy as much as the most private of people, but damn how about a touch of friendly tone when saying hello to my kid.

Tarzan Hot

Meandering thoughts:

Conversation with my 3 year old (ahhh ya I know I said I wouldn't talk about my kids, but damn this is kinda interesting & funny)

SJ: "Mom, Levi called me a dick..."
Me: "Well, were you being a dick?"
SJ: "NO"
Me: "do you know what a dick is?"
SJ: "no"
Me: "it's a penis...but when someone calls you a dick it's like saying your being a jerk. so were you being a jerk to Levi?"
SJ: "Well, ya...so I flicked him..."

That's about all the clear info I got. Trying to get accurate information from a 3 year old is like trying to get correct info from a crack head at 2AM at a crime scene involving the crack head. Not that I would know that for sure, being only involved with a 3 year old & not really knowing any full blown crack heads except for the ones I've seen on COPS...but I am guessing I'm damn close.

I live someplace that's really freaking hot. In quoting Mathew Broderwick from Biloxi Blues "it's hot..it's Africa hot. It's Tarzan hot." It sucks from July till Oct. BUT I've lived elsewhere and this is the lesser of all the evils. I won't go into where else I've lived because there have been several I will say "screw you LA..."
One of my favorite things in the summer is watching Deadliest Catch. You know the show about the crab fisherman on the freaking freezing boat somewhere in the Barren Sea...Where ever the hell that is. Okay..so I divert my eyes when they show a bunch of the crabs. The crabs give me the creeps...they resemble the fast crawly things that attach themselves to your face on the Alien movies to much for me to even think of consuming one. I guess they are the Alien babies? Oh and let my digress for a second...I love Sci Fi but what really freaks me out is when things are fast...fast Alien babies and worst of all fast Zombies. I think it was Dawn of the Dead that the zombies where zombies which is fucked up enough, but they were fast zombies. How messed up is that? I know I am writing as if zombies could happen BUT if they did wouldn't you want the super slow dumb as cow shit ones from the original black & white zombie movies?

Okay...so back the fisherman....I love sitting there with a big cup of coffee watching these poor guys freeze their asses off & risk their lives on while it's a 100 and fuck outside my apartment. I find it really comforting to see all the cold cold sea water, ice, and snow. Shit half the time I'm not even listening to whatever the narrator & crew are saying I'm too busy pretending to freeze my ass off in the sea water...occasionally I have dirty thoughts about being the only woman on a fishing boat full of men...I would start looking damn pretty about week 2.

And Lastly: I went to the gym yesterday it's been...Mmmm I don't know 6 years. Cue the voice from The Upside Down show..."She went to the gym for the very first time..." Me walking in happy but dorky like the dudes from the show... Okay...so I hook up with a trainer. Who was nice & professional...but big. A very big dude that didn't say much and well didn't say much. The whole time I was working with him I kept having images of Gazoo from the Flintstones telling him what to do..."now dumb dumb tell her to straighten her back..." I would get so involved in that thought that a couple times I totally lost count of how many reps I did & had to play it off like I knew how many...
So I would stop whatever I was doing with a "yep...did that..." look when I didn't really have a clue if I did 20 reps or 40 or 15.

shopping

Did my usual payday shopping today...restocking supplies and all that exciting BS. I could go on about how everything seems to cost double these days...but why. Instead I'll muse on a couple thoughts.

First: (I may have texted or twittered you a condensed version of this) Old lady at Cost Co line looks at me and asks me about the scar on my neck. I smile and say "oh...ya I was in a bar fight at this lesbian bar in Mexicali...two girls started fighting over me & I got stuck in the middle and cut...lesbians can be very dangerous..." Well, the old lady was shocked. The look of horror that stuck her face. I did well to I held it for a minute then smiled said "not really" & gave her the business card of my thyroid doctor...She was so relieved I don't think she really took in what I said...

if anything I am self entertaining...

Second: Chick standing at Wally world looking at toilet brushes...she was dressed for the runway. Long fake pony tail, fake eyelashes, nails...well fake everything visible. A dress that looked worth a lot that is seen on magazine covers. That got me thinking...either she's an executive that is sent from her office to do some low level toilet brush shopping....or her life as gone to a really weird place where she gets that dressed up for freaking low level shopping. I don't judge her, but her level of being made up for something as dull & hateful as shopping for necessary household stuff gets me pondering. She is either really really high maintenance...or there is nothing going on in her life at all. She has that much time & money to look like that for something as simple as needing a toilet brush...

Well...That's what I thought about her as I walked by in my carpi's & 11 buck Target t-shirt. OH don't forget the 5 dollar Target flip flops....Sorry chicka I've got too much shit going on to wear heels to buy yogurt.