birds & bird brains

BIRDS:

I don't like flying poop,

and that is why I dislike/hate birds. My bird distrust started right after watching the very famous Alfred Hitchcock film The Birds...After that any large group of birds made me nervous. Then came Resident Evil Extinction, 2 words: zombie crows...large groups of zombie crows...Well, after that movie large groups of birds made me run indoors.

Then all these big McMansions popped up in the valley...I started to notice pigeons on roof tops. I started to notice big brand new houses with bird shit roofs. I wasn't even a home owner back then and that pissed me off. Anything that can fly where ever it wants, shit mid air, and it lands where it lands really pisses me off. I told my mom there would be plenty of poisoned bird seed around my place for those rats with wings...she told me that they were protected by our government. WHAT? Our government can not protect our children from pedophiles or help the homeless but they protect stupid ass pigeons? I'm warning all those that know me, love me, or just read my blog I will be the crazy woman on my roof with a freaking broom or better yet golf club (me yelling FOUR...feathers flying a very Monty Python moment) if pigeons start to gather on or even near my home.

Bird Brains:

disclaimer: I'm agnostic. The ball & chain is atheist...we are raising our children to be free minded & decide what they believe or don't on their own with info but no coaching from us.

I really enjoy the show 17 kids and counting.....Oh not because I find them inspirational....Not because I am floored this woman's nocha hasn't fallen to the floor and crawled away crying like some victim of a sadist. Not for the fact that the husband Jim Bob must be spend all his nights buried in his wife's panties to have so many kids...But for the fact that I'm agnostic, they're beliefs and what they are teaching their children crack me up. The minute one of those kids steps off their "world" and is faced with the "real world" ...Well, it will blow their little minds...You mean the world isn't really like that? "Oh no J______ (all the kids names start with J) there really is no Santa clause." You do have to be careful with that show while I find it hilarious for so many reasons including the very in your face blatant advertising of household products in their home...some like my husband... well the show pisses him off. He grew up with that rubbish (well rubbish to us...don't send me hate mail) so it reminds him of all those things embedded in his noggin where he broke free from. My favorite episode if you want a good laugh is when they go to the Creation Museum....ahhh good times.

that's it...maybe

Well I've reached that point...the same point I have reached many of time before. I've become fed up with myself. I don't know if it's ever happened to you...but all of a sudden you think "man, I'm just ______" You fill in the blank...could be slob, lazy, out of touch...etc and etc. The moment came in small doses to me all day. My hair for no apparent reason (I have doctors appointments to rule out medical) decided to go alfalfa on me. From one day to the next it took on the texture of a really bad dried out old lady roller set hairdo. So I got fed up and cut it all off...OH, I hate it....the cut looks terrible, but I couldn't stand the feel of it anymore.

Then this evening watching Indiana Jones 3 (fun movie...just plain fun) it happened again. I got fed up with myself...it came on with my 2nd bite of pie. The pie was suddenly gross...I kept thinking that me just not giving a shit about what I eat or what I weigh was gross & I was grossing myself out. I tossed the pie and got a glass of water...

So here I am overweight and with a very bad haircut wondering if the feeling will pass by morning or if it's enough this time to push me into action. I became fed up this week with school and bounced into action applying for financial aid and getting an appointment to get my paperwork together to enter SDSU..it's time I thought. Yup, it's time I went from Taco Tec to Taco U...the fed up worked.

So am I there with my weight? I hit this fed up with my weight once and lost 50 pounds...I think I'm there...the pie tasted nasty tonight, trick is to see if it tastes nasty tomorrow. The hair well it will grow, but what if it grows out the same what then? The schooling well Taco U either takes me or I keep applying till they take me....

Perhaps we are all creatures of bad habits the trick is to recognize them as bad habits and not just habits.

boxers

I have many bad habits some cute, some gross, and some well personal...wink, wink, cough...One of my habits is wearing my hubbies boxers. A pair of men's boxers & a tank top is the perfect sleeping attire as far as I'm concerned. I have bought pj's twice my whole life both for the hospital when giving birth...the rest of the time it's boxers & tank tops even in the winter...hey that's why they make heaters ...if I get desperate I might put on a pair of sweats after I get up.

So when the husband says to me "your ass looks so frumpy in my boxers..." I wasn't insulted. I wasn't even shocked...I'm not wearing them because they make the C section scar seem tiny & the tummy look flat. I was intrigued....he still looks at my ass? I wasn't even aware that he remembered I owned one. I don't really have an ass...I have a flat surface with a slit. We've been together 10 years I didn't even think he bothered to "look" at me anymore. Lets face it I bath & kinda groom myself so as to not embarrass the children or scare the elderly. It never occurred to me that my husband or any guy was checking me out.

AND when did that happen? I got lost somewhere & forgot that maybe someone would find me attractive...seriously when I was young it was all about being checked out...now I could give a shit. In fact if I can fade into the background & not be noticed even better...because I attract eccentric people whom I adore for their entertainment value, but now that I have 2 kids I have no time to be entertained. I was aware of being "seen" when I was bar tending I enjoyed it & exploited it...but now "why?" is all that really comes to mind.

I don't remember what I said to Dear Hubby when he said that...I remember standing there for a bit thinking "wow, he's still looking...poor dude..."

personal note: to all you woman who will email me telling me I need to look good for my husband can kiss my ass or kiss their own husbands ass. A person should look good for themselves...after a day of handling 2 kids, a nana, a household, and school all I want is a comfy pair of boxers. So as Miss Kathy says "suck it..."


FYI: The Happening is an interesting film. I am a huge fan of M. Knight Shamladingdong but it's not the type of film to watch after a very windy day & a very windy evening...If you've seen it you know why & if you haven't I shall not ruin it for you....

AGE

Been pondering my age lately. 37 by the way, but if you ask I'll tell you 40. I've noticed many changes in me since I hit 32ish. I like tomato's now....I love tomato's & tuna that is totally a middle aged healthly choice type of dish that I love. When I was 20 I would have puked at the meer mention of tomato let alone tuna. Put both together I would have vomited in my own mouth. When I was 23 I vaguely remember a diet of bean burritos, cheese pizza & beer...I was a vegetarian back then but not a healthy one.

One of the things that hit me this week about my age group that I am in, is a conversation I had with another mother at the preschool. It was during the preschools Halloween bash where there were many parents & siblings around...We got to talking about babies & how we are both so over babies that there meer mention of diapers makes up cringe. She said that once she turned 40 she was just so over this cutesy little baby stuff she just wanted to get on with life already. Don't judge her, her youngest daughter is 4 & she loves her daughter but the idea of another baby again makes her leave the room.

So let me address what your already thinking..."But you've got a baby..." Yuppers I do...he's got the cutest fattest round ass around. BUT if my hubby had wanted another one it could have caused a divorce (he doesn't & plus I got myself fixed). I am honestly just counting down the months till G hits 1...once he's walking, talking, and playing I call it a home run. The day I toss out all his bottles, no longer buy formula, and hand him a sippy cup full of cold leche that doesn't require heating...that day I shall do a snoopy happy dance. The day I no longer have to buy diapers & his dinner can be pizza I shall do 2 snoopy happy dances.

Her mentioning her age made me think: are we as woman pre-programed to have our children at an earlier age that what is the norm now? As we reach middle age is our tolerance for diapers, 3AM feeding and spit up gone? It might be, because when I had my first child 4 years ago I remember hating it a lot less. I wonder is it an age thing or a character thing?

Another texting (I don't even remember what you sound like anymore woman...I do remember you being slightly smartassy which is a family trate...can't really smart ass alot in texting it's an art) conversation with flaca also made me think about my age. We both agreed that we like ourselves so much more now than when we were young. Life is better now. We are wiser, stronger, and all around better.

Now here's a little story:
I was sound asleep...snoring happily away when loud shrieking woke me up. I freaked shook the hubby yelling "The kids...the kids" Then I ran down the hall yelling at the hubby to get the 4 year old while I saved the baby...from what a freaking banshee I don't know it was 2AM. The hubby chased me down the hall telling me to stop..."stop it's fucking cats stop." I stood at my baby's door...Que? Cats?
I go downstairs open my front door two big cats where hissing at each other on my front steps...my crazy ass is in a tank top, boxers, with hair all over the place stepped outside & ran them off.
Just another reason for me to dislike cats.